


Eat Drink Love

by Raina_at



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, M/M, SerialDater!Jared, Waiter!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raina_at/pseuds/Raina_at
Summary: Cynical waiter Jensen serves Serial Dater Jared's row of first dates.





	Eat Drink Love

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this nine years ago for the Jsquared Christmas Challenge on LJ. Fortunately I still think it's pretty fun. Thank you, Goodbyemyfancy, for the beta back in 2009.

As far as Jensen is concerned, the fact that their restaurant was named # 1 on the ‘Where to bring a hot first date’ list in the LA Times a few weeks ago is as much a blessing as a curse. Yes, they have twice the business they had before. But unfortunately, most of that business is either Friday or Saturday, which means it’s nearly impossible to get either day off, which further means Jensen’s own – slow to begin with - love life has ground to a halt. Also, the job’s pretty much killed any illusions Jensen still had about dating. Stilted conversation that stops gratefully when the food arrives, squabbling over the bill, the awkward ‘Am I getting lucky?’ dance, Jensen sees every variety of it on any given Friday or Saturday, and it’s reduced his intention of ever going through the sheer mind-numbing awkwardness of ‘dating’, aka dinner with a complete stranger, to zero. 

On the other hand, tips are awesome, because most dudes on their first date want to seem generous, and people are usually really polite to the waiters, because they’re on their best behavior. So it isn’t entirely without its perks to work at the romantic hotspot of the greater Los Angeles area. 

This Saturday promises not to be different. They’re booked full, and as soon as he enters, Danneel, their service manager, immediately puts him to work setting tables and prepping for the night.  
“By the way,” she calls from the bar, polishing an already shiny wine glass, “You owe me 20 bucks. Meat loaf guy was back yesterday, with lobster girl.”

Jensen shakes his head in disbelief and puts a 20 into their tip/bet jar. “They should’ve bombed, they’re culinarically incompatible.”

Mike ambles over, sipping a cappuccino, enjoying a last break before the storm hits in the kitchen. “I never bought into your system. What do I care whether a girl’s got similar taste in food as long as she’s got great tits?”

“He’s right nine times out of ten,” Danneel says from the bar, holding up the wine glass for inspection. It’s so clean by now that Jensen thinks if she polishes it more it’ll actually start to glow. 

“Dude, I’m a friggin’ oracle,” Jensen adds with a grin. He doesn’t like to brag, but he does have a gift. He can pretty much tell from the second two people on a date order whether they’re gonna hit it off or not. Most of the time, he doesn’t even need to see the people involved, the receipt and marks of respective hotness are enough to go on. 

“Hey, Oracle? Get your ass back to work,” Danneel snaps at him good-naturedly and he goes back to setting tables, most of them for two, for another 30 romantic trial-outs. A normal Saturday night.

*-*

“How much do you love me?” Danneel leans onto the bar next to Jensen, where Jensen’s waiting for his drink orders for tables 5, 6, and 10. 

“You’re the light of my life and the joy of my world, you know that,” Jensen deadpans, gesturing at Steve their hippie bartender to hurry the fuck up. 

“I put two extremely hot gay dudes on their first date in your section,” Danneel says, grinning.

Jensen’s torn between gratitude and frustration. On one hand it’s definitely a good thing to have something nice to look at, on the other hand it’s a little like waving candy in front of children who aren’t allowed to have any. 

But Jensen’s gonna take what he can gets, so he makes his way over to table 11, and yeah, okay, he needs to do something nice for Danneel. One of the guys is nice enough looking, but the other one is absolutely stunning hot, tall, built, floppy hair and a killer smile. Jensen’s struck by equal amounts of lust and envy when he hears the tall guy laugh at the other guy’s joke, but lust definitely wins out when he arrives at the table and the tall guy directs a sunny smile at him. 

“Hi, I’m Jensen, I’ll be your waiter tonight, may I take your drink orders?” Jensen says, long practice making his voice smooth.

The tall, floppy haired one looks at his date. “How about a beer?”

The other guy shrugs, relaxed and confident in his sharp suit. He’s nearly as tall as floppy hair, and just as built, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Why don’t you bring us some Prosecco?”

“You got it.” Jensen makes a note and walks away, grinning. Prosecco when floppy hair wanted beer, ordering for his date without asking? 

He goes over to Danneel. “Yeah, they’re gonna bomb.”

Danneel pouts. “But they’re so pretty!”

Jensen grins. “I’m sure they’d have beautiful kids, but there’s not gonna be a second date, I’m telling you.”

Danneel refuses to believe it, so Jensen bets her 10 bucks, and Jensen goes back to the hotties’ table to take their order.

Jensen feels immediately vindicated when floppy hair orders a side of garlic bread to his grilled prawns, and sharp dressed dude seems to get the message, because neither of them orders dessert, and they split the bill neatly in half, all overly polite and formal. 

In a way it’s a shame, because Jensen would really like to see floppy hair – whose name, he isn’t proud to admit, he gleaned from the credit card info to be Jared - again, but on the other hand it’s nice to know he called another one straight off the bat, ‘cause when he watches Jared and the sharp-dressed dude say goodbye with a cool handshake, he’s sure they’ll never see each other again, and Danneel forks over a crisp 10-dollar bill, glowering at him, muttering under her breath how he’s dead inside. Jensen just grins and pockets the money. All in all, a good night.

*-*

He’s half right, as it turns out, because Jared is back next Saturday, but this time his date is a slender short-ish blond guy. It’s obvious Jared’s amused by the fact that blond dude picked the exact same restaurant as his last date, and when Jensen steps up to their table, Jared grins at him and winks, which Jensen hates to admit is cute, and makes Jensen wish a little that he was the type to just hit on strangers he meets in restaurants. 

He takes their drink orders and retreats to the bar, watching Jared and his date talking to each other. The conversation’s subdued but fluent, and he can’t yet tell whether they like each other. Jared’s not smiling, but he doesn’t look bored either. Well, their order will tell. 

Blond dude orders their Veggie Lasagna al pesto and Jared, grinning and with a Texas twang that settles like honey over Jensen’s skin, orders the special, grilled ribs. Jensen’s pretty sure the date is a bust when the blond dude wrinkles his nose, and when Jared just shrugs and says to Jensen, with a conspiratory smile, “We Texas boys like our meat, don’t we?”, Jensen’s also pretty sure that if he was the type to randomly hook up with customers, he’d probably take Jared back to the employee bathroom and show him just how fond Jensen is of Texas meat. 

He’s relieved and disappointed when they don’t order anything else, because Jared makes him think in bad porn clichés, and that’s not good. On the other hand, Jared surreptitiously drops blond dude’s phone number into the trash can on their way out, and Jensen can’t help the small exhilarated feeling in his stomach, which he tells himself is only because he was right once more, and not because he wants Jared to be back so he can ogle him some more. He almost believes it, too.

*-*  
When Jared doesn’t show up next week, Jensen’s not sure whether he’s disappointed or relieved.

When Mike mutters, “Dude, Serial Dater is back,” the following Friday, however, Jensen can’t even pretend he’s not happy to see him back, even if he’s accompanied by a lanky, bookish-looking guy. Jared doesn’t seem to have much of a type, as far as Jensen can tell so far. Not that he’s given much thought to the subject. 

“Hi, I’m Jensen, I’ll be your waiter tonight,” he greets Jared and his date as he approaches their table. “Can I take your drink orders?”

Bookish guy glances at the menu and orders an Appletini, Jared gets his usual Corona.

When Jensen comes back with the drinks, bookish dude is in the bathroom, and Jared’s grinning at him. “Dude,” he says, “This is getting embarrassing.”

Jensen busies himself with the drinks. “What do you mean?” Jensen asks, casually, like he has no idea who Jared even is.

Jared sighs. “Sorry, I guess you wouldn’t remember me. This is the third time I’ve been here on a first date. In the last month. Why do they all pick this place?”

Jensen takes pity on him. “It’s the LA Times #1 first date restaurant.”

“Well,” Jared says, looking up at Jensen with a grin, “I guess at least that means I date guys who read the paper.”

“Good for you, I guess,” Jensen says, putting the Appletini down, deliberately not looking at Jared when he adds, “I did, actually. Remember you.”

Jared’s quiet for a second. “Really?” he asks, and when Jensen looks at him, he smiling at Jensen full force, flashing his dimples, and holy fuck he’s adorable. 

Jensen allows himself a small smile. “You tip well,” he says with a casual shrug, which is of course a total lie; he remembered Jared because he’s hot, and kind of cute in a puppyish sort of way.

Jared looks at him with that same pleased grin. “Must be it.”

Jensen beats a hasty retreat when the date returns. He’s too busy to actually watch the date progress, but he glances at them occasionally, and they seem to be getting along fine. Jensen figures Jared’s finally getting a good first date until they place their food order and Jared orders the garlic shrimp with garlic bread and a Greek salad with extra onions, which, if there was a ‘Sorry, you’re not getting laid tonight’ special, this would be it. 

Bookish dude seems to take it in stride, and they actually get another bottle of wine before calling it a night with a friendly handshake. Jared flashes Jensen a big smile when he leaves, and Jensen wishes it was next Saturday again.

*-*

Jared doesn’t show up two weeks in a row, then the Saturday before Thanksgiving he comes in with this sharp-suited older guy, early forties, salt-and-pepper hair, expensive suit. The older dude orders champagne and Jared rolls his eyes at Jensen while the older dude studies the menu. When Jensen comes back with the champagne, the older dude orders oysters, the seafood platter for two, and an excessively expensive bottle of wine, and Jared rolls his eyes again.

Jensen times the serving of the oysters with older dude being in the bathroom. Jared looks at the slimy dish with disgust and sighs. “My date is a douche.”

Jensen snorts, but doesn’t say anything.

Jared looks up at him and gives him a wry grin. “That obvious?”

“He ordered our most expensive wine, but it won’t taste well with the rest of your meal. That pretty much spells out douche,” Jensen says, not even caring that if he was being strictly professional, he shouldn’t talk to Jared at all.

Jared stares at him. “You can tell people are douches by the wine they order?” 

Jensen shrugs. “Comes with the job.”

“He’s coming back,” Jared mutters despondently. “I think I’ll fake a family emergency.”

Not five minutes later, Jensen sees Jared answer his phone, and not ten minutes later, he’s out of the restaurant, making a gagging gesture to Jensen through the window. Jensen laughs out loud and nearly drops the plates he was serving. From the look of it, Jared’s laughing his ass off out on the street at Jensen’s expense, and Jensen should be annoyed, but all he feels is this little surge of warmth.

*-*

Next time Jared’s in, there’s nobody with him. He greets Jensen with a subdued smile and orders his usual Corona, then sits for 20 minutes, staring at the door. 

Another ten minutes pass, then Danneel comes over to Jensen, nodding in Jared’s direction. “His date just called and cancelled. You wanna break the good news? Might be the perfect time to ask him out yourself?”

Jensen shrugs. Yes, Jared is hot, and kind of funny, and adorable, and those dimples should be illegal, but Jensen doesn’t actually like dating, and Jared is a serial dater, so he has the feeling they’re not exactly a match made in heaven.

But he has to do something; Jared’s looking more and more despondent as the minutes pass. So he tells Danneel he’s taking his fifteen minute break, gets a slice of the double chocolate caramel cake, and goes over to Jared.

“On the house,” he says, sliding over the cake.

Jared looks from the cake to Jensen. “So he cancelled?”

Jensen nods, trying to look sorrier than he is. “Yeah. Sorry, dude.”

Jared shrugs. “It’s ok. It happens. Hey,” he adds, looking up at Jensen, smiling slightly, “better than last time, right? Dude was such a douche.”

Against his better judgment, Jensen asks, “Why did you agree to go out with him, then?”

“Dunno,” Jared says, giving Jensen a small shrug. “Guess I have a hard time saying no when people ask me out. It’s why I date a lot. Figure if you try a lot, it’s gonna have to work some of the time.”

Jensen gestures around the room. “Nine times out of ten, it doesn’t.”

Jared smirks. “Yeah, but how do you tell the nine from the tenth if you don’t go on a date with them?”

“Just ask them what they’d order,” Jensen says promptly. “You’d save a lot of time and effort.” He leans down to Jared. “See the two by the bar? They’ve eaten off each others’ plates all evening; they might as well get married. But those two over at the window? He ordered the seafood ravioli without the parsley pesto, the mildest, most tasteless dish on our menu; she ordered the chili lemongrass shrimp, the hottest dish on our menu. They should’ve called the evening off right there.”

“Because their tastes in food don’t match?” Jared asks, looking at Jensen like he’s retarded.

“Because dating in general is just a really weird concept, if you think about it,” Jensen says, warming to the subject. “You meet somebody, you like the way they look, you ask them out to a meal, and then you’re sitting there and you realize you’re having dinner with a complete stranger because it’s the socially acceptable way to get laid. And when you realize that this person doesn’t have similar taste in something basic as food, it’s a pretty good indicator that you won’t have much else in common, so just call it quits right then and there.”

Jared’s looking at him oddly, half a smile on his face. “Wow,” he says finally. “It must suck to be you.”

“Why?”

“’cause you’ve killed romance dead and buried the body in a ditch somewhere,” Jared says, and Jensen can’t help but laugh.

“The job does make you a cynic, admittedly,” Jensen concedes. 

“Um, I think your boss wants something,” Jared says, gesturing at the bar, and Jensen follows his gesture to see Danneel tapping her watch and waving him back to work energetically. 

“I think my boss either wants me to go back to work or she’s auditioning for an expressionistic dance workshop,” Jensen says.

Jared grins. “Maybe both.” 

Jensen smiles in spite of himself. “Eat your cake.”

“For a waiter, you’re pretty bossy,” Jared says, but obediently starts to eat his cake. “You know you’re the first guy who’s sprung for dessert in this place,” Jared adds. “If you were a date, I’d feel obliged to go home with you.”

Jensen snorts. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, and starts walking away.

“I’m Jared, by the way,” Jared calls after him. 

Jensen turns around and gives Jared a small smile. “I know.”

“Stalker,” Jared says, grinning, and Jensen turns away before it gets too obvious that he’s blushing.

The rest of the night is too busy for him to talk to Jared again, but he can feel Jared’s eyes on him, and it’s not an altogether unpleasant sensation.

*-*

Jensen half expects Jared not to come in again after that evening, but he’s back on the Friday after their little talk; and with a new guy of course. This one is short and beady-eyed and kind of hot in a douchy sort of way. 

Jared greets him with a small smile, and when Jensen comes back to get their dinner order, Jared’s watching him with this funny look in his eyes, as if he’s gauging Jensen for a reaction.   
Jensen walks away to place the order, and nearly runs smack into Jared when he turns away from the kitchen again. 

“So?” Jared asks, looking at Jensen expectantly.

Jensen frowns, asking himself whether he missed part of the conversation. “So what?”

“How do you rate my date, based on our food orders?” Jared asks.

Jensen frowns at him. “You really wanna know?”

Jared grins. “Yup. I wanna prove you wrong.”

“Well, you won’t,” Jensen says. “He ordered the salmon risotto with a side of spinach; I nearly fell asleep writing that down.”

Jared shakes his head. “Cynic. I happen to think Chad’s really interesting.”

“Good for you,” Jensen says, giving Jared an over-enthusiastic thumbs-up. 

Jared laughs and claps Jensen on the back. “Dude, I better get back to my date. Flirting with the hot waiter is a definitive dating no-no.”

Jensen’s glad Mike chooses this moment to yell for Jensen from the kitchen, because otherwise Jensen might do something stupid, like drag Jared into the coat checkroom and molest him, and that couldn’t possibly end well.

When Jensen serves the meals to Jared’s table, he sees Jared stifle a yawn, and he gives Jared a little smirk. Jared glares at him, but he nods grudgingly to acknowledge Jensen’s point, and Jensen’s sorry they didn’t put any money on it. 

But when Jared and his date leave, Jared glances back at Jensen, and he looks disappointed and a little sad, and for the first time, Jensen feels bad for making fun of dating and romance, and for the first time he thinks that maybe it would be nice to be like Jared, who’s open enough to just try, and try again, until maybe, you meet that elusive tenth guy, assuming he exists. But then Jensen remembers that even that tenth guy can turn out to be an asshole who’s gonna grind your heart to dust and break your faith in romance and humanity. Not that Jensen’s speaking from experience. At all. 

*-*

The Saturday before Christmas, Jared’s back with this high-strung business guy type in an expensive suit. The guy makes Jensen take two pages of orders with side dishes from three different courses, and Jared, almost in spite of himself from the looks of it, gives Jensen a surreptitious thumbs-down.

The guy spends half the date on the phone, and finally Jared vanishes, and when Jensen goes out into the back alley to get a bit of fresh air on his fifteen minute break, he catches Jared leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his lips.

“Dude, what a bust,” he says to Jensen, slumping against the wall, looking tired and a little world-weary. 

He holds out the pack to Jensen. “Want one?”

Jensen takes a cigarette and lets Jared light it up for him. “You should really stop dating these losers, man,” Jensen says, gesturing inside.

Jared smirks at him. “I don’t know they’re losers when I agree to date them, you know, and I figure everybody deserves to at least get a chance to prove they’re losers. Also, I wanna get laid occasionally, and I’m over this whole club scene, so how else are you gonna do it?”

Jensen shrugs. “Nobody I know ever met a long-term partner by dating. Friends, family, parties with dark corners for making out, work, that’s how you meet people.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like dating, the unknown of it, the way people can surprise you sometimes,” Jared says, and he’s still got this hopeful smile on his face, and Jensen wishes he wasn’t a total cynic, because Jared’s adorable, and if Jensen was in any way inclined to ever date again, he’d probably ask Jared out. Or at least try to get Jared to make out with him a little. 

That way of thinking is dangerous given they’re alone in a back alley and Jared’s looking a little vulnerable, so Jensen decides it’s time for a subject change. “You going home for Christmas?” he asks, looking for neutral territory.

Jared nods. “You? Where you from? I can hear Texas, but where?”

“Dallas, Richardson,” Jensen says.

“San Antonio,” Jared offers. 

“What brings you to LA?” Jensen asks, suddenly curious, realizing that he has no idea what Jared does for a living.

“Graphic design,” Jared says. “Went to CalArts, got stuck in LA. I like it here. It’s warm, but not crazy hot like Texas. Plus, you know, I can date guys in fancy restaurants and nobody really gives a shit.”

“There is that,” Jensen says, and then they just lean next to each other on the wall, not saying anything. It’s oddly comfortable, and Jensen lets himself enjoy the quiet and the cool night and the smoke filling his lungs.

“I have to go back to work,” Jensen says after a while.

Jared nods. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna take off.”

“What about your date?” Jensen asks, gesturing inside.

Jared shrugs. “I don’t think he’ll even notice.” He smiles at Jensen. “Merry Christmas, Jensen.”

Jensen swallows. “Merry Christmas, Jared.”

Jared nods at him and walks away, and Jensen goes back in, and he doesn’t feel sorry for the guy Jared ditched, even when he gets stuck with the bill.

*-*

Jensen doesn’t see Jared again until the second weekend of January. No matter what Danneel says, he didn’t look up every time the door went the three Saturdays he’s worked since Christmas, and he wasn’t disappointed that Jared didn’t show up. 

When Jared does show up, he’s alone and he grins broadly at Jensen when Jensen comes to take his order. 

“How was your holiday?” Jared asks.

Jensen shrugs. “Good. Same old, same old. Too much food, too much family. Yours?”

Jared grins. “Same. Good to be home, though. Even if my brother and my dad were complaining about the Cowboys the entire time.”

“What a lousy season,” Jensen says emphatically. “I almost wished I worked Mondays so I wouldn’t have to watch them suck.”

“I know what you mean. I’m not into football that much, but dude, the Spurs can be almost painful to watch. Did you see their last game?” Jared shudders. 

Jensen looks at him with mock pity. “You’re a Spurs fan? Your life must really suck.”

Jared glowers at him. “You suck.”

“The Spurs suck,” Jensen retorts.

“Your mom sucks,” Jared shoots back.

“Burn,” Jensen deadpans, and they both laugh. 

Somebody clears his throat, and both Jared and Jensen look up to see a guy who’s apparently Jared’s date, a tall red-headed lanky guy. 

Jared smiles at him. “Hi, Evan. This is Jensen, he’s our waiter.”

Evan smiles politely. “Nice to meet you Jensen. I’ll take a martini.”

Thus dismissed, Jensen retreats, but not before sharing a last amused look with Jared.

When Jensen comes back to take their food orders, Jared orders the special, meatlover Chili with extra salsa and guacamole dip, which makes Jensen flinch because it’s exactly what he had for dinner in the staff room earlier. Evan orders the chilled cucumber soup, the rosemary lamb, and a sweet white wine that clashes horribly with everything he ordered, but he won’t change his order when Jensen points this out. When Jared gives Jensen a questioning look behind his date’s back, Jensen gives him the thumbs down, and tells himself he isn’t relieved, even though Jared’s pouting at him and mouths, ‘Romance killer’ at him.

When Jensen goes on break to smoke, he’s not surprised to meet Jared outside, lighting up.

“Don’t usually do this,” he says, “Just had to get away from Mr. Boring for five minutes.”

Jensen lights a cigarette for himself. “Told you so,” he says, gesturing back at the restaurant.

Jared looks at him with this strange half-smile. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Jensen shrugs. “Sure. No guarantee I’ll answer, though.”

“Who fucked you up?” Jared asks, and Jensen stills, surprised that Jared went there, that Jared figured him out, that Jared thought about him at all. 

“There’s a story here, right?” Jared continues. “There has to be for you to be this cynical.” 

Jensen shrugs again, and for a while, he just watches the ash of his cigarette drift away on the evening wind. “Tommy. I met him when I first came to LA, you know, right after I came out,” he finally offers. “Major, major asshole.”

“Cheater?” Jared asks, softly, and there’s compassion in his voice, but no pity.

“With my best friend. Several times.” Jensen’s voice is quiet, and he doesn’t actually know why he’s telling Jared any of this; he guesses it’s because he’s gotten involved in Jared’s business so it’s only fair that he shares some of his. 

“Ouch.”

Jensen finally looks over at Jared, who’s watching him with this soft expression in his eyes. 

“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore,” Jensen says.

“Sure,” Jared answers, voice quiet, a small, compassionate smile on his face. “Still. Asshole.”

Jensen snorts. “Yeah.”

They don’t talk anymore after that, just smoke quietly, and then Jensen’s break ends and Jared goes back to his date, which ends with a polite handshake in front of the door, and another guy Jensen’s sure Jared will never see again.

*-*

It becomes kind of a thing, almost, after that night. Jared brings a few dudes to the restaurant in quick succession, and Jensen shoots down every one of them.

The first one only orders when Jared agrees to pay the bill, and then he orders the most expensive stuff on the menu. 

When the guy’s in the bathroom, Jensen answers Jared’s questioning gaze. “Freeloader. Dump him.”

He calls Jared’s cell to help him fake an emergency, and the guy gets stuck with the bill. 

Jared’s smoking in the back alley again when Jensen goes on his break, and they talk for a while, about Jared’s dogs, which are huge and adorable like Jared himself, and about how tough it is to make it in LA no matter what you do, and how they both know they should quit smoking. Jensen’s sorry when he has to go back to work, and he’s sorry to see Jared leave, because leaving the hotness aside, he’s discovered he actually _likes_ Jared.

The next guy is really hot, but he orders the roasted chicken without the skin and a side of sage potatoes, and Jared gives Jensen a reluctant thumbs down as soon as the guy is in the bathroom. 

The next two are easy, because one of them is an anti-gluten vegan, and asks detailed questions about dairy and wheat content of his grilled vegetable salad, which nearly makes Jensen break out in rage-related hives, to Jared’s infinite amusement, and the date ends when the guy totally flips about the fact that he’s convinced his latte isn’t soy. 

The next guy is the worst yet, because he actually splits not ten minutes into the date, after an obviously fake ‘emergency’ phone call.

After getting ditched, Jared hangs around at the bar all night and watches the Spurs get beaten into the ground on the small TV hanging over the bar. 

He’s still there when Jensen’s shift ends. The restaurant is nearly empty, and Jensen sits down next to him at the bar. “Come on, I’ll buy you a beer.”

Jared smirks at him. “Does it come with a side of ‘I told you so’?”

“Nah, man,” Jensen says, gesturing at Steve for two beers. “I don’t kick people when they’re down.”

Jared sighs. “Yeah, well. I’m just so sick of all these guys.”

He looks so despondent that Jensen just has to cheer him up. “Don’t give up, man,” Jensen says. “There must be a guy out there for you.” 

Jared looks at Jensen questioningly. “Since when are you all glass half full?”

Jensen shrugs, grabbing his beer from Steve and taking a pull. “I don’t know, maybe I want you to keep trying because if a guy like you can’t score, there’s little hope for the rest of us suckers.” Plus, if he’s entirely honest, Jared’s kind of become this weird fixture in his life, and if Jared stops dating, Jensen might never see him again, and that’s a thought Jensen doesn’t necessarily like.

“Wow, that was actually one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me,” Jared says softly, giving him this half-smile he sometimes has, like he’s trying to figure Jensen out. “You know, I don’t think you’re all tough.”

“No, deep inside I’m all asshole,” Jensen says with a smirk. 

“Seriously, though,” Jared says, gesturing over at the table. “Am I doing something wrong? Why does none of these guys do it for me?”

“Who knows?” Jensen takes another swallow of his beer, then adds, “I’m pretty sure it’s them, though, not you. You just gotta develop a better screening system. Like maybe only go out with the ones you actually like?”

Jared looks over at him. “What, and not parade an endless array of bad dates in front of the worst waiter in the world?” he asks, smiling.

“Shut up, I’m an awesome waiter, and you know it,” Jensen says, pointing his beer at Jared in mock outrage.

“Was that really soy milk in my date’s latte last week?” Jared asks slyly.

“Vegan smartass with his cress and his spring water. He made me go back into the kitchen three times to ask the chef whether the zucchini in his salad were organic,” Jensen mutters.

Jared grins. “I know. The look on your face was priceless. I was actually waiting for you to choke him to death.” Jared sighs, grin fading. “Hey, Jensen…”

“Jensen!” Danneel yells from the kitchen. “Come in here and enter your goddamned receipts into the system, I wanna go home.”

Jensen sighs and gets up. “I better go.”

Jensen stars walking away, but Jared grabs his wrist, the sudden contact making Jensen’s pulse pick up. They lock eyes, and for a moment, Jensen thinks Jared’s gonna pull him in and kiss him, and he feels his entire body tingle in anticipation, because hell, he wants that. But Jared swallows, obviously uncertain, and says, in a rough, quiet voice, “I just wanted to ask, do you date?”

Jensen’s heart sinks at the hopeful look in Jared’s eyes, and he has to remind himself of all the reasons why this is a bad idea. a) Jared’s a serial dater, Jensen hates dating. b) Jared’s sweet and nice and Jensen’s a cynical asshole. c) The fact that he really wants to have sex with Jared and likes him as a person isn’t reason enough to go through with the whole romance spiel that always ends the same way, somebody getting hurt. 

“No,” he says, and even though he thinks he’s probably doing the smart thing here, it doesn’t make Jared releasing him with a little disappointed, “Oh,” any easier. 

“Jensen!” Danneel yells again. 

“I really gotta go,” Jensen says quietly. They’re still standing close together, and Jared’s still looking at him. 

Jared nods, tries to smile but it comes out looking a little forced. “Yeah, sure. Night, Jensen. And thanks for the pep talk.”

“Night, Jared,” Jensen mutters, then walks away before he forgets about good ideas and bad ideas and just takes it back and kisses Jared.

In the kitchen, Danneel hands him the evenings’ receipts, and he sits down at the computer and takes out his wallet to count the cash. 

She’s looking at him oddly, and he knows she was watching that whole exchange. 

“What?” he asks, maybe a little more sharply than she deserves.

She sighs. “You know not all men are assholes, right?”

“Yes, they are,” Jensen says, pointing at himself. “Case in point.”

Danneel snorts. “Okay, I give you that one. Still, he might not be.” She nods her head in the direction of the bar and Jared.

“Given the odds, why take the risk?” he asks, but he already knows her answer.

“Because it’s worth it?” Danneel says. 

Jensen just shrugs, and gets down to work. He can tell Danneel’s watching him, but he steadily ignores her and enters his cash receipts into the system. Finally, Danneel heaves a sigh and leaves. Jensen finishes his work, then goes outside to smoke, then he goes home to his empty apartment, his empty fridge and his empty bed.

*-*

Jared doesn’t come back for three whole weeks after that night, and Jensen’s not surprised. He almost thinks Jared won’t come back at all, but when he does, Jensen wishes he hadn’t.

About a month after his last date, Jared’s back with a gorgeous dark-haired guy with intense blue eyes and a killer smile. 

Jensen can immediately tell a difference between this date and every single other one Jared’s been on in this restaurant. He can tell Jared’s actually interested, for one. He flashes his dimples at the guy, he laughs his full-body laugh that Jensen can hear through the entire restaurant, and every time Jensen looks over – which he can’t stop doing compulsively about every twenty seconds – Jared’s either talking, wildly gesturing like he does when he’s really into a conversation, or listening with this interested half-smile on his face. 

And then the guy orders a Corona with lime, and the rib-eye, raw, with the fried potatoes and corn on a cob, which is so fucking perfect that Jared just grins and orders the same. Jensen jots down the order without catching Jared’s eyes, his writing nearly illegible because he feels like somebody sucker-punched him in the gut, and when he finally looks at Jared, Jared raises his eyebrows at him, all ‘See, I do know how to pick them’, and Jensen kind of wants to hit him. Hard.

Jensen gets the drinks, and when he comes back, Jared’s alone at the table. “So?” Jared asks. “I took your advice and picked somebody I like. Is he perfect or what?”

Jensen doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He concentrates on serving the beers and doesn’t look at Jared when he says, “He’s got beady eyes. And he’s too short for you. And too pretty. He’s probably a hooker.”

Jared snorts. “You know, you weren’t wrong the other day. You’re really kind of an asshole,” he says, a hard edge in his voice Jensen’s never heard before, and he knows he finally went too far. 

Jensen leaves, then, and doesn’t look back, even though he can feel Jared watching him. He promises Kristen half of his tips if she switches sections with him and goes outside to smoke. 

Shit to the fucking hell. 

This was bound to happen. One of these days Jared had to have a good date. It was statistically likely, given the amount of guys Jared dates. Yet somehow, it didn’t occur to Jensen that watching Jared date would someday mean watching Jared score. And Jensen shouldn’t care, but fuck it, he does, and not just because Jared having a boyfriend means he won’t come here anymore to make Jensen’s work a bit more fun. And the absolute last thing he wants to do is watch Jared go home with this guy, and not because he envies Jared his active love life, and not because Jensen’s horny and alone, but because Jensen _likes_ Jared. God-fucking-damn it.

The rest of his shift passes in a blur. He works the other side of the restaurant, so he doesn’t see Jared much, but he checks out the receipt and they’ve ordered dessert, double chocolate caramel cake with two forks, and some really good red dessert wine that’ll go fantastically with the chocolate, and for the first time, Jensen hates his prediction ability, because this is a ‘You’re getting lucky tonight’ receipt if he’s ever seen one. He crumples up the receipt and Kristen curses him out for it afterwards, but he doesn’t listen because he’s watching Jared leave with this handsome, perfect guy, and they’re holding hands, and Jensen just stands there and watches, the receipt balled in his fist, as they get into a cab together. 

For the first time in his life, Jensen really, really hates his job.

*-*

Two weeks pass, and Jensen’s on automatic mode at work. He doesn’t check the reservations for Jared’s name anymore; he doesn’t look up hopefully when the door goes on Fridays or Saturdays. He pays no attention to the eating habits of his first daters, because suddenly it’s not funny anymore, suddenly it’s depressing and kind of sad when they fail to connect, and even more depressing when they do connect because Jensen feels like actually he had it all wrong the entire time and he’s the real loser for not even trying anymore.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is a sign. Maybe he should just quit and start working towards his own little restaurant. Maybe he should try to find a job at one of the fancy celebrity restaurants where people come to be seen and not to find romance. Maybe he should just grow a set and get back out there into the dating jungle, if only to get rid of that irritating, wanting itch beneath his skin, the one he’s had since he first met Jared.

He goes to work five days a week, Tuesday through Saturday, and he briefly considers getting a dog, but then he thinks of Jared and the picture of the two huge, hairy mutts he showed Jensen once after one of his many sucky dates, and Jensen tries not to think about how maybe, he wasn’t smart or reasonable, maybe he was just scared and stupid, and maybe Jared was that tenth guy all along, and Jensen let him get away for good.

*-*

It’s a Tuesday, and it’s an incredibly slow night. Five tables are taken, a family of six, an older couple on some kind of anniversary or birthday dinner, two guys and their elderly mother, two cute young couples on a double date, and an eccentrically clad guy alone at a table for four, who’s ordering the most eclectic stuff on the menu and wine for five people to go with it. 

Jensen’s so bored he’s playing chess with Kirsten between serving courses. She’s got three tables, he’s got two. Theoretically, one of them could go home, but it’s just 7.30 and Danneel is convinced the dinner rush will hit, which Jensen doubts because it’s a cold, wet March Tuesday and there’s good stuff on TV. 

“I wish you’d stop moping and make a fucking move already,” Kirsten says when she comes back from serving more drinks to the family of six and finds him brooding over the chess board.  
Jensen doesn’t respond, keeping his attention on the board. Kristen’s already taken his rook and his queen, and his king is in a vulnerable position.

“Black or white?” a familiar voice asks, and Jensen flinches, nearly toppling the chess board.

“White,” he croaks, hating how unsteady his voice sound, looking up at Jared, who’s wearing a crisp black button-down shirt, a loose tie, well-cut jeans and a nervous expression.

Jared smiles at him uncertainly. “You should take the black queen. It’ll cost you your knight, but if you don’t, you’ll be checkmate in five moves.”

Jensen nods automatically, but he has no idea what Jared just said. His mouth is dry, and his hands are shaking a little. “Table for two?” he asks, proud of himself for getting his voice back in working order.

“Yeah,” Jared says, but he won’t meet Jensen’s eyes, and Jensen kind of hates how awkward things have become between them. 

Jensen grabs two menus and leads Jared to his usual table. He leaves the menus and gets Jared’s usual Corona. At the bar, he turns to watch Jared, who’s fidgeting and studying the menu with unwarranted interest. As he watches, Jared looks up and their eyes meet, and Jensen immediately looks away, busying himself with getting Jared’s Corona out of the fridge himself.

He goes over to serve it to Jared, putting it down right in front of Jared. “So where’s your date?” he asks, trying for casual.

Jared shrugs. “Should be here any minute.”

Jensen takes off again when it’s clear Jared won’t say anything more, and not five minutes later, his date arrives, but to Jensen’s surprise, it’s not rib-eye guy, it’s a guy Jensen’s never seen before, tall, blond, blandly dressed and smiling at Jared like he won the lottery.

Jensen ambles over after about ten minutes to take their order. He should pass the table off to Kristen, he knows he should, but curiosity wins out over common sense. Blond guy orders the green pumpkin ravioli with broccoli pesto and a salad, and Jensen renames him bland guy in his head. Jared orders the special, black linguine with figs and bacon, and he gives no indication that he and Jensen ever so much as talked outside of ordering.

Which, fine. Two can play it cool. Especially since Jensen knows off the bat that this date is a bust, once more. 

He goes into the kitchen to place his order, and when he comes out, he meets Jared, who’s obviously on his way to the bathroom. Jensen nods politely and is just about to pass Jared when Jared says, “Your system’s crap, by the way.”

Jensen turns around, surprised by the edge in Jared’s voice. “Why?”

Jared gestures back in the general direction of the restaurant. “Rib eye guy? The one who hit every single one of my taste buds? Turns out he’s married.”

Jensen flinches. “Ouch. Wow, that sucks.”

Jared snorts. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“But it’s not the systems’ fault,” Jensen says, even though he knows it’s a bad idea by the way Jared’s eyes are flashing at him. “Maybe you should just be a little pickier instead of saying yes to every Tom, Dick and Harry who asks you out.” It comes out wrong, challenging and jealous instead of observant and cool, but Jared’s got him on edge and he’s had enough pretending polite indifference. 

“And maybe,” Jared says, in a low, angry voice, advancing on Jensen slowly, and Jensen’s equally nervous and aroused, “I actually have the stones to put myself out there instead of hiding behind cynicism and stupid rules and systems, because I’m not too chickenshit to go after what I want.”

Jensen swallows heavily. Jared’s standing too close, and he smells good, and fuck it to hell, Jensen knows if he doesn’t do something now, he’s never going to forgive himself. So he grabs a handful of Jared’s shirt and crushes their mouths together. Jared immediately gets with the program and pulls Jensen in, tilts his head to the side and then they’re kissing, not tentative and shy but really going at it, dirty and hot, tongues and teeth and hands roaming, grabbing at clothes. Jared tastes like Corona and lime and smoke, and Jensen can’t get enough, can’t get close enough, hands fisting in the soft cotton of Jared’s shirt.

“Hey, hey,” Jared mutters between kisses, pulling Jensen closer and pushing him away at the same time. “Not here, man, not here.”

Jensen regains some semblance of sense when he realizes they’re well in the line of sight of both the kitchen and the customer bathrooms, and if this wasn’t an extremely slow night, somebody would’ve seen them by now, and Jensen would be so fired. 

But Jared’s looking at him greedily, and his body’s searing hot against Jensen’s, and Jensen’s waited too long. So he pulls Jared along, and Jared goes willingly, follows him closely, until they reach the employee bathroom. Jensen unlocks the door, pulls Jared in, and the second he’s locked the door behind them, Jared’s on him, pressing him into the door, kissing him, trapping him with the strength of his body, and Jensen lets Jared plunder his mouth, lets Jared nip at his neck, tear at his clothes.

“Crazy, drive me crazy, hot and cold all the time, flirting with me and turning me down, and then acting all jealous when I bring a guy I actually like, you confusing asshole, I swear if you weren’t as hot as you are,” Jared mutters, and Jensen just nods along, hooking a leg behind Jared’s knees to pull him closer.

They kiss sloppy and uncoordinated, all teeth and tongue and no finesse, but Jensen doesn’t care, Jared’s body is hot and hard against his, and Jared doesn’t let him up for air, and Jensen fucking loves it.  
He pushes Jared back until Jared hits the opposite wall, and Jensen stalks towards him. Jared’s disheveled and gorgeous with a huge bulge in his jeans, and Jensen’s mouth waters. Unceremoniously, he sinks to his knees in front of Jared and pulls Jared’s zipper down, ignoring his own erection for now, focusing on Jared’s huge, hard cock, already leaking precome.

Jensen licks over the head experimentally, and Jared shivers all over, and that’s sexy as hell, so Jensen does it again, and again, and again, until Jared’s fist slams against the wall and he whispers in this harsh, broken voice that turns Jensen on even more than he already is, “Jesus, don’t be a goddamned cocktease, do it already.”

Jensen doesn’t need to be asked twice. He wraps a fist around Jared’s cock and jerks him once, slowly, and Jared shivers again, all over, mouth going slack, eyes closing, and when Jensen wraps his lips around Jared’s shaft, Jared groans, and the sound travels straight to Jensen’s cock. He starts to suck in earnest now, Jared’s hot, thick cock on his tongue, stretching his mouth, and he tries not to think of what Jared’s cock would feel like fucking him, because this is hot enough to burn, and adding the image of Jared holding him down and fucking into him makes Jensen moan and nearly come in his pants.   
He sucks enthusiastically, taking Jared as far down as he can, licking the thick vein on the underside again, and again, using just a hint of teeth on the upstroke. Jared’s reduced to a whimpering mess, he’s grabbing Jensen’s shoulder, his collar, until he finally settles one huge hand on the back of Jensen’s head, pushing him down further on his cock, and Jensen nearly gags, mouth watering, but he doesn’t let up until Jared pulls at his hair. “Gonna, gonna…” he whispers, and Jensen pulls off and jerks Jared twice before Jared’s coming all over Jensen’s shirt, making the most incredible sounds.   
Jensen undoes his zipper and takes out his own cock, but Jared hauls him up and presses him against the wall again, kissing him sloppily, licking his taste out of Jensen’s mouth, completely unstitching Jensen, and when he wraps his huge, rough hand around Jensen’s cock, it only takes a few strokes and Jensen’s coming so hard his knees would buckle if Jared wasn’t holding him up.

They kiss sloppily while they’re both coming down, breath slowing, hands trailing under clothing and along skin. Jensen can only imagine what he must look like, clothes in disarray, lips swollen, Jared’s come all over his shirt.

“You wanna come back to my place and maybe do this some more?” Jared asks, nipping at his ear.

And of course the answer is _hell fucking yes_ , but… “What about your date?”

Jared frowns at him. “Who?”

“The guy who’s still sitting at that table waiting for you? You might wanna dump him before you take the waiter home,” Jensen points out.

“Oh.” Jared actually blushes bright red, which is just about the cutest thing he’s ever seen. “Right.”

“Also,” Jensen adds, “I need to check out.”

“Okay, okay,” Jared says, then he leans in and kisses Jensen, hot and hard and dirty. “Meet me in the back alley in fifteen minutes?” he mutters against Jensen’s lips.

Jensen nods, a little weak in the knees from that kiss. “Yeah,” he says, voice shot to shit. “Yeah.”

Jared smiles at him and steps back. He straightens his clothes so he doesn’t look quite as fucked out, but to Jensen’s immense satisfaction he still looks like he was molested in a bathroom. “Change your shirt,” he says, then shuts the door behind him.

Jensen gets his own clothes in some semblance of order, then goes out front on slightly wobbly knees. He meets Danneel halfway. She takes one look at him and starts grinning. “Go home,” she says. “Let’s pretend the last fifteen minutes of your time were spent on the employee toilet hurling your guts out.”

Jensen licks over his lips, knowing how debauched he must look. He’s pretty sure there’s a hickey somewhere on his neck. “Thanks, boss.”

She smirks at him. “Call me on my cell tomorrow and tell me what you really did.”

“Will do,” he says, then he hands over his wallet and his cash receipts to her and goes out the back door to wait for Jared.

Jared arrives about ten minutes later looking chagrined. “Dude, I feel like an asshole.”

Jensen just grabs him and pushes him against the wall, kissing him deep and dirty, until they’re both breathless.

“Okay,” Jared mutters between short, licking kisses, “Maybe I don’t care so much.”

Then he pushes off the wall and pulls Jensen in the direction of his car, and Jensen goes along, already thinking of all the dirty things he wants Jared to do to him.

*-*

It’s much later, and Jensen’s lying on his back, sweat cooling on his body. He feels fucked out and completely relaxed and unfit to ever move again.

Jared curls up next to him, yawning into his shoulder, and pulls the comforter over both of them, so it seems he’s fine with the Jensen never moving again plan.

“So,” Jared mutters against his shoulder, warm breath and warm lips against his skin. “You gonna date me now?”

Jensen snorts. “No.”

Jared draws back and looks at him, all wounded puppy, but Jensen grins and adds, “I just wanna hang out all the time and have lots of dirty sex with you. But no dating.”

Jared gives him a huge, radiant smile and Jensen feels this stupid, silly warmth rise inside of him and somehow, for this feeling alone, even if Jared turns out to be an asshole, is worth it already.

“Oh, and one more thing,” he says, pulling Jared down again for a long, deep kiss. 

“One more thing?” Jared repeats when Jensen releases him, looking dazed.

“You ever bring another date to the restaurant again, I’m gonna have to kill you,” Jensen says.

Jared laughs, bright and happy. “Deal.”


End file.
